so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
