The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
