ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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