i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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