My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
