first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
