you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just had sex bonerless
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
