Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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