The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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