i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
4 words: hood of his car
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
