I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sext me about skeletons
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
