I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
