We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
kristin has been a bad kristin
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
