Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
