idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
