she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
