why didn't you poke me back
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
