It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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