...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
