So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
