this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
