Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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