You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
