Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
