I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
