i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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