I think I am morally bankrupt
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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