Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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