thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
