I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm like, not good at living.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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