do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
