i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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