***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize