IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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