I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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