dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I intend to get homeless drunk
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
