The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Panties = found
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