Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
