party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize