chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
