YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize