I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
