Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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