Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
