i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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