So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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