I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
home. puking in laundry basket.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Houston, we have a squirter
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
