I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize