Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize