yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You can't just leave with hair like that
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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