i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize