I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
