We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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