If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
