you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
