we have officially lost it.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
