Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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