i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
