just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
