I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
