Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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