Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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