i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
