What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
