Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize