three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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