is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
