she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
