Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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