***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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