I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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